The other day, I suggested using humour as a strategy for an anxious child I was supporting, who was having a hard time transitioning to school and building a connection with her teacher.
The response I got back was: “We can’t be playful with her. She needs to learn that school is serious.”
And I understood where that came from. But here’s what I know to be true:
No playfulness. No connection. No co-regulation.
Playfulness isn’t a reward for good behaviour. It’s not something children earn when they’ve already regulated. Playfulness is one of the most powerful tools we have to build the relationship that makes regulation possible.
When we laugh with a child, when we’re silly together, when we meet them in their world rather than pulling them into ours—we build the safety and connection that their nervous system needs to settle.
Co-regulation doesn’t happen through seriousness. It happens through relationship. And relationship is built through moments of joy, play, and genuine connection.
So next time things feel tense—try playfulness first. You might be surprised at what opens up.
Want more playful ways to build connection? Our Connection Cards are 33 OT-designed activities to help children and their grown-ups connect — available as an instant digital download.